Kole's Birth Mother

I could tell that people had prayed and were praying for our meeting today with Kole's birth parents; our meeting could not possibly have gone better. We were very nervous on the two hour car ride over. We arrived in Kole's birth city, ate lunch and walked around a little. Kole was born in a large port city on the Black Sea. It's very much a melting pot and it feels more like being in the Mediteranean than Ukraine. I probably would really have loved being there except that I felt like I was in a daydream of sorts just waiting to meet with Kole's birth parents. We were expecting to meet both of them, but his father did not really care who adopts him, so he did not come.

We met his mother and grandmother at a beautiful park in front a large Orthodox church; then we walked to a nearby cafe. His birth mother is beautiful, she has orange/red hair and she really is so pretty. I noticed right away that we were both wearing dark jeans, white sleeveless shirts and black sandals. Weird. We sit down at a table and it's all I can do to even look at her. She begins to talk with Alex and he tranlates all her questions for us. She looks at our pictures of Lane and Hudson and she asks about 100 questions. She wants to know what Kole's life would be like with us. Will he go to school? Will other children make fun of him? Why do we want to adopt him if we can have more children "of our own"?

She explains what it's like for children with Down Syndrome or other special needs here in Ukraine. She starts to cry a little. I can tell she loves him. My heart just aches for her. I can't even begin what it would be like to live in a country where people with any kind of "disability" are treated like they are not real people. I can begin to understand why they left Kole at the orphanage, although in my heart it still doesn't make sense.

She shows us pictures of Kole when he was a baby. He is so cute dressed in old fashioned clothes and a bonnet, riding in an old fashioned baby carriage. She shows us a picture of her husband and her. Fighting back tears she tells us that many times she has wanted to go get Kole and bring him home, but his father refuses and he does not want him. She tells us that she is so glad that he will not have to spend his life in the institution and that she is so happy to know that he will be in such a nice family. She tells us that people of our character are rare, we are different in a good way. She and Kole's grandmother are crying. I am crying too. We promise her that we will love him and care for him the same as we do Lane and Hudson.

We exchange addresses and we assure her we will send pictures and write letters. I tell her that I do not think badly of her at all. And I really don't. I did, but after meeting her and seeing that she genuinely loves Kole, I just feel so sad for her. We hug goodbye and we are both still crying.

We will see her again, one more time after the adoption is finalized in court here. She gave the pictures of Kole so we could make copies and return them to her. And she wants to say goodbye to Kole.

Drew and I both felt better and worse after the meeting. We don't love Kole's birth father, to be honest. We feel sad for his birth mother, but we are relieved that she seems at peace with our adopting him and happy that he will have he good home. Thank you all for your prayers and kind words. These past few days have been quite the emotional rollercoaster. But, God has been pouring His graces on us in so many ways.

We returned too late to see Kole today so we are really looking forward to spending a few hours with him tomorrow morning.