What "They" Can't Tell You

Often, I'd say several times a year, I get an email or Facebook message from a friend telling me that one of their friends just found out they're unborn or newborn child has Down Syndrome. Then they ask me if I would reach out to them, or can they give their friend my contact info. "Yes!" I always say "Yes!" Here's why...When I was 13 weeks pregnant with Hudson we were told that he would never make it to 20 weeks and that he appeared to have Trisomy 13. When I was 21 weeks pregnant we found out that the Doctor was wrong, Hudson was still growing and he had Down Syndrome. Immediately, the Dr. mentioned abortion, genetic counseling, and a slew of potential problems our son would face. When we met with a genetic counselor, she too talked mostly about all the health problems and difficulties Hudson would face if we decided to continue his life and give birth. It felt like we were bombarded with negativity.  Although my heart was full of hope, even joy over the upcoming birth of our sweet Hudson. We didn't know anyone with a child with Down Syndrome. We didn't have anyone to connect with, to tell us all the wonderful things about having a child with Down Syndrome. So I want to take this chance to tell you what "they", those tests, Doctors, Counselors,  those party-poopers can't tell you.

They can't tell you that when you hold your baby in your arms he will melt your heart. That he will look at you with those beautiful eyes, and just like any other baby, he will own your soul. He will make you see beauty in places you never before noticed. He will teach you what determination means, what hard work is as he takes his first steps or conquers the ladder to the playground slide. His laugh will make the worst of days better. When he talks, you will hang on his every word, because the sound of him speaking is the sound of victory. He will take you by the hand, ask you to dance, and you'll have to stop whatever you're doing because he's just to cute to say, "No" to. He will love you unconditionally. You will love him unconditionally. His zeal for life will be contagious. He will make you see people differently, in a new light. He will make you want to be a better person. He will make you a better person. No "test" can predict the joy he will bring into your family. There is so much "they" can't tell you about being the parent of a child with Down Syndrome, but as Hudson and Kole's Mom, I can.

Adopting Nikolai

So much has transpired in the last week it is somewhat difficult to remember what happened on which days. My last post talked about how Drew and I found out about Reece's Rainbow, a ministry for adopting international children with Down Syndrome. We knew right away that God was making it undeniably clear that this is what He has for us. I think the easiest way to explain what has occurred during the last week is through a timeline.


Wednesday, February 17 - We find out about Reece's Rainbow and start looking at the website. Contact Andrea, the director of Reece's Rainbow to get the initial paperwork. Drew and I are certain that we want to adopt through Reece's Rainbow.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday - We are looking through pictures on the website, praying, and talking about how would this all work out. How will we ever decide on which child to adopt? But we were confident that God would direct. Saturday, Drew was away at seminary, while I was looking at more pictures and saw Nikolai. I was just immediately drawn to him, maybe because he looks so much like Lane and Hudson. After Drew gets home I email Andrea to find out what country Nikolai is in.

Sunday, February 21 - Drew sees Nikolai's picture and he too has an overwhelming sense that he is the one we need to adopt. We find out Nikolai is in Ukraine. Andrea sends us our commitment papers. We are so excited and continuing to pray for God to providentially work everything out, just as he already had. We are certain we want to commit to Nikolai.

Monday, February 22 - We send in our commitment papers for Nikolai! And we begin working on the mounds of paperwork, get our homestudy set up etc...

Tuesday, February 23 - We get an email from Andrea, the director of Reece's Rainbow telling us the following

"just wanted to let you know....you just saved Nikolai from the institution. They were DAYS from transferring him. Our facilitator called and they said they will hold him."

By institution, she means a mental institution, which is where most children over age 4, with Down Syndrome will spend their lives. I couldn't stop crying. Nikolai is already 5, but God had been keeping him at the orphanage for us!

Today is Wednesday, February 24. We have seen God's hand working in so many little ways. He made it so clear that Nikolai was our son. Imagine if we had hesitated to commit to him. God told us to "move" so we did, and even though it may seem there are obstacles; God has and can move them. He already provided above and beyond what we needed for our application, promise trust and home study fees. We are confident that he is going to provide all we need to bring Nikolai home.

Nikolai could be coming home as soon as July! We are so excited to have found our son. We can't wait to hug him and love him and give him a new life.

All this has kept my mind thinking on how much greater the love of God is. That he would give his son and adopt me into his family, call me his child and love me with an everlasting love.

You can follow Nikolai's adoption story here at The Purple Sparrow or on our Facebook page "The Purple Sparrow." If you would like to sponsor the Miles family you can do so through designated giving at Reece's Rainbow. Please pray with us that we can bring Nikolai home soon.

Adopting a Child With Down Syndrome

Adoption is something that Drew and I have always known God had for us in our future. When Drew and I were dating, a friend of mine thought she would be funny and blurted out "Drew, you know Kam wants 12 kids, right?" When we got in the car Drew asked me "Do you really want 12 kids?" (He had a very concerned look on his face). I almost lied, but I told him I really did want 12 kids, give or take a couple. Thankfully, he didn't break up with me right then, and 7 years later we have been married for 5 yrs. and have two children.

Yesterday, as I sat in the waiting room of the Speech Therapist office a lady sat down next to me with her daughter who has Down Syndrome. We started talking and she told me about an adoption ministry called Reece's Rainbow that helps place international children with Down Syndrome into loving homes. I was immediately interested, actually my heart was pounding with excitement. I had almost skipped the kids therapy appointments that day!

When I got home I immediately went home and looked at www.reecesrainbow.com to find out more. I started weeping and couldn't stop. And it was not tears of pity for these children; it was tears of joy that God had answered my prayers. We had been looking into ways to foster or adopt children with Down Syndrome or other special needs, but because of the 90% abortion rate in the US there really are not a lot of children with DS available. My heart had been somewhat restless and impatient waiting for God to show me the "how." I thought "This is it!" I couldn't wait til Drew got home from work, I called him right away. We hadn't really even considered the possibility of adopting a child with Down Syndrome internationally, but now it just seemed so clear.

After the kids were in bed, Drew and I talked for hours; we looked at the pictures of these children waiting for their "forever family." I told Drew I had already requested and received the initial application. He laughed and said with a huge smile on his face "I figured you did, I just assumed you had probably already filled it out and sent it in too." (Which of course I had not). I love my husband, and I love that God brought us together, and has knit our hearts together in this way. And so the adoption journey has officially begun. Though, as I look back I see God's hand working in big and small ways to bring us to this place and preparing our hearts to adopt.

Please pray with us as we pray and plan. We have some logistical and financial obstacles to tackle. And I do not know how we will ever decide on just one child. We know God has already decided that.

Tough Questions

Many of you now that my son Hudson, who is 18 months old, has Down Syndrome. I have shared in an earlier blog a little of my journey through my pregnancy and of the medical and other challenges we have faced with him. I have also shared how having a child with special needs has greatly changed my perspective and really has changed my life for the better.

As Christians, whenever we are faced with a trial, it should bring out the best in us;it should bring out the Christ in us. Usually, trials bring out the "real" us. They are a time when we are challenged to "practice what we preach." God often works in mysterious ways to bring us closer to himself and to show us that He really does know what is best.

A friend of mine sent me an article entitled "Tough Questions." It briefly describes two women whose children were both given the prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome. In it the author poses some questions that I think all Christians should consider regardless of what phase of life we are in.

Click here to read the article.